First off, I’m sorry about yesterday’s post. My mind was all to consumed with car problems. Turns out that my car is going to be $650 to fix and they didn’t get around to it yesterday. Hopefully they just get it fixed today so I can have my car back and drive normally again…slash make it over to my sister’s and pick up our mom’s/her/soon to be my bike so I can stop being so reliant on my car.
Yesterday was a stressful day for a million reasons but at the same time was a productive day. My car was stressing me out. Some personal things were stressing me out. Some work things were stressing me out. I was wearing thin.
I have this thing that I play out how conversations might look. And for some reason I always tend to do this in the shower. Apparently hot water and shampoo gets my brain thinking from different sides and perspectives. (Disclaimer: I tend to be someone that will at least try to look at something from different angles…it also means that I am slow to do anything…) Well last night while I was doing this technique in regards to some personal stuff, I just completely broke down and started hysterically crying (on a positive note, it really helped me clear out my nose as allergies tend to make it be really stuffed up).
Which leads to me to this, my personal belief about crying. I went years thinking that crying was only for the weak and you should never cry. In fact, I probably went a good couple of years without shedding a tear. From when my friend’s son passed away to my second year of grad school as I was orally defending my comps, I don’t think I really shed a tear or at least had a good cry. I would simply take my emotions out on to the street and pound the pavement for a good run. But something snapped during my defense of my comps and it was when one of my professors said I was a disappointment (which happens to be one of my biggest fears). I could barely hold back tears as those words came out of his mouth. (Wow Vanessa, this is just a scattered blog post today!)
I figured out then that sometimes I just need a good cry. And that it doesn’t make me weak and it often times will make me feel better after and help me put things into perspective. It happened during grad school. It happened last night. It has happened in the past. And it will continue to happen in the future.
So this, this is my personal belief a/b crying. If you need a good cry. Cry. Let your emotions out. But try to take something positive away from it. It can be that now you have been able to feel your emotions so maybe now you can look at the situation/problem from a more rational (read: less emotional) point of view. Maybe it is just the release of emotions that makes you feel better or calmer about the situation. The point is, to find a positive in the fact that you are balling your eyes out and possible have a situation like this on your hands