Today’s post is going to be more than that poses questions to yourself and perhaps challenges you. Now, I don’t remember where I heard the phrase “stop should-ing all over yourself” but it is a phrase that I have clung to a bit over these past couple of years as I feel the pressures of what I should do/think/say getting stronger and stronger. And honestly, for me, should-ing all over myself just creates more mental stress than most things in my life.
It probably doesn’t help that I’m stubborn as hell and the second someone tells me I SHOULD do something, I immediately don’t want to do that at all.
So why is should such a dangerous and destructive word? Well, when used it has the ability to create un-realistic expectations/goals for yourself and when you can’t/won’t meet those, you tend to feel guilty. Should-ing all over yourself can have a detrimental effect on your overall wellness, specifically (if you are prescribing to the 5F-Wel) your coping self (self-worth and realistic beliefs are the discrete factors that would fall into this category).
Like most things in life, there tend to be exceptions to the rule. Some people respond well to being told what the should do. Some people, like me, rebel against that. The important thing is that you do things in your life not because you feel like you should or that you have to do that, but because you believe that it is the right thing.
What are some of the shoulds in your life and are those shoulds placed there by you or by someone else? Is it healthy to have those shoulds in your life? Can re-framing help out w/ that? (I’ll do a more detailed post about re-framing-it’s one of my FAVORITE psych concepts!)
And with all ironic intention, should you stop should-ing all over your life?